ryanadams:

Thank you and I very much enjoyed and learned much from this idea of sharing.

Damn it.

I teared up watching this video. It’s not that big of a deal, because I was crying earlier today, so it just kind of pushed me back over the edge. I have some kind of a stomache flu or food poisoning, or maybe––this is my new crazy theory, because I seem to get sick every time I come “home” but I feel great every time I leave––New York is making me sick, it’s a toxic place and it wants me to puke my guts out, literally and metaphorically, until I’m forced to leave. And I’ve had a rough week, an especially rough five days, during which I’ve felt both on display and on defense, during which this thing he talks about in the clip of “staying behind my work”, which has always been my primary mode, has started to seem less permanently possible. And yeah, I feel maladjusted and lonely too, but that’s a constant. That’s just part of having a functioning brain and living in the world.

But mostly, he got me with the Sonic Youth worship. It’s amazing to see someone being so candid about something they love, immediately after being so candid about feeling so bad. I wish I had more to offer in that department. Tonight, I only have this.