I was raised by my grandmother, a willful iconoclast who was more interested in destroying families than nurturing them. She insisted that I share her bed till I was 14 or so. She was terrified that I’d be corrupted by some slapper. As it was, I lost my virginity to Vivienne Westwood when I was 17. We shared an art-school squat and she liked to walk around naked. She got pregnant almost immediately. My grandmother gave us the money for an abortion and was horrified when Vivienne spent it on a cashmere twinset instead. I remember her shouting at me: ‘You’ve been entrapped! Entrapped!’ She never forgave me.